Relatable Judaism Podcast | EP63
Effective listening and effective communications
Effective communications starts really with effective listening
The first step of effective listening is to actually listen to what is being said to you and making sure we understand the other person’s viewpoint.
Effective listening is not an easy skill
Have you ever been in heated discussions between friends or colleagues or any relationship and you felt that you are not being heard? The other person was too busy pushing their argument or saying their point of view and he’s not listening. Even worse you may have felt that they completely didn’t understand what you were saying and did not listen to your side.
We are all guilty of this. How many times do we think we are listening to the other person but yet our mind is wandering elsewhere and we are not focused, sometimes our mind is focused on the word of wisdom or our answers we want to get across once they finally finished speaking.
Before we decide whether to accept or reject an idea before we argue, before we make statements, first we need to make sure we are paying attention. We need to be genuinely listening and understanding what is being said otherwise there is no dialogue there is no communication there are just two people talking at each other and not to each other.
In this class Shira gives all the reasons listening is so important and all the skills necessary to attaining effective listening and communication.
We also spoke about Mindfulness,
*Listening to what we see, read and experience:
we tend to be lazy, we can spend an hour doing something or reading something and not even remembering what we have read a few minutes later. We need to get into the habit of articulating what we learn.
Anything worth our time like reading a book, having a conversation with someone, touring, learning, should be productive! You define your goal ahead of time what do you hope to accomplish? And once it’s done define what you have gained from that experience.
don’t let it become an undefined big piece of data swimming around in your brain.
*Listening to the events of our life:
Take the time to introspect and define the lessons you’ve learned from big events that happened in your life, for example you got fired from your job. Articulate the insights and what you’ve learned from that experience without it you have no way to verify that you actually learn a lesson from this experience.
You might be thinking I cannot trust employers or I’m incapable of a successful career, but once you recognize your thought process and you introspect you can evaluate what you feel and sharpen your thinking. Maybe you can get to the conclusion I need to improve my work habits for my communication skills etc…
*Listening to what other people say:
Listening is a skill that we work on. make sure you really hear the other person and understand what they are saying. Work on getting clear definitions. They are an essential tool for cutting some confusion and help you gain clarity. They will ensure you become objective.
Here are the Exercises that were shared at the end of the class. Give example of applying effective listening on a date / in a relationship. Define the following terms to yourself, try finding the torah definitions for: good, free will, marriage, love, happiness, friend. Play I YOU SHE game, different scenario. Define what you are living for and share with confidence