Relatable Judaism Podcast | EP51
Enjoy this episode with Rabbi Dov Heller LMFT.
A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Psychotherapy, Dating and Relationship Coaching.
In this Episode Rabbi Dov Heller discussed the 7 ways to move on after break up
Here is the outline of the class
Do you have closure? Closure means you know it’s over; have no doubts
Why or why not? If not sure, ask the other person.
2. MOURN YOUR LOSS
5 stages of mourning: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance
What have you lost? What needs were met? Distinguish between healthy and unhealthy needs.
Move from fantasy to reality: Don’t obsess and fantasize about all the good. The bad is why it didn’t work.
3. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF?
Do you feel good about how you handled your part in the relationship?
Do feel ashamed about how you handled your part?
Do you blame yourself for why it didn’t work?
Forgive yourself and give yourself permission to be human
4. DON’T AVOID YOUR FEELINGS
Identify all your feelings. What’s the most painful one? Process them
Feelings are information. They are our teachers and a pathway to self-understanding
5. LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE
What can you learn from the experience?
What mistakes did you make?
How can you be a better person? What specific changes will you make?
What character traits do you need to work on?
Clarify what you’re looking for
6. MAKE A COMPLETE BREAK
Get rid of all memories and reminders
Can we be friends?
7. CLARIFY WHAT YOU WANT AND WHERE YOU’RE GOING NOW
Don’t date until you know what you want
Why were you in this relationship?
Do want a boyfriend/girlfriend or marriage?
Are you ready for marriage? If not what do you need to do to get ready?
You are emotionally ready to date when you have gone through 5 stages of mourning and feel you are ready to give 100% to another person.
Watch out for rebound relationships